Not really. You know that's Lady Sovereign, and so do I. She's back with her big comeback (well, medium-sized comeback) single, So Human. It's based around the choicest cuts from Close To Me by The Cure. You might have missed her 2006 debut album (Public Warning) and that Ordinary Boys track she mumbled all over, but let me assure that Lady Sovereign is a big star. The video is proof.
See? She goes to red carpet events where people interview her. On camera. And men in grubby Parkas take photos of her. In the screengrab above Lady Sov is about to cause several thousand pounds worth of damage to the paparazzo's camera, but that's ok. She's a rebel.
And people put her on the cover of cool style magazines. Doesn't she look super super? Also, Anyother Magazine. It's like Another Magazine. Do you get it? (LOL!!)
Crazed magazine. Could that be like Dazed and Confused? (Double LOL!!)
Blah blah, Vague magazine...
The video ends with a big party at an art gallery. It was full of boring, pretentious people wearing suits, but Lady Sov snuck her friends past the velvet rope. They're all such fun that they don't dance, they jump. And they probably wear the plastic toys that come with Happy Meals as jewellery.
What have we learned?
1) Lady Sovereign is famous. And you like famous people, right? Especially the ones who are a bit mouthy and kick photographers. You know, like Lily Allen. Therefore, you will like Lady Sovereign.
2) Lady Sovereign is popular and she likes parties. But not VIP ones. If you bumped into her in Earls Court, she'd probably take you to a cool party in a warehouse. There'll be glow sticks. In a variety of colours. And then you'll be popular too, because you're in there with Lady Sovereign.
3) Did I mention that Lady Sovereign is already famous? Perez Hilton likes her. And if you don't like her, you're just not keeping up.
So far, so pop music video trope. My problem is that So Human is that it's weak. So weak that it might collapse in a strong breeze. It's a feeble ghost of The Cure's Close To Me. Not even Lady Sovereign looks convinced. There's a young chap called Thomas Jules who recently released a similar track, called Get Close To Me. Who thought of it first? I know not. The only winner here is Robert Smith.
In other news, I was ill last week with that winter vomiting virus you've heard everyone talking about. I highly recommend you avoid catching it. Even if you have to cut off close contact with all other human beings, you'll thank me. However, I did manage to watch Animal Collective playing at Liverpool O2 Academy. It used to be a Carling Academy, and to emphasise the difference the bar is now stocked entirely with Carlsberg. The venue still has the atmosphere of a large garage decorated with chewing gum. It was surprisingly full, considering that Liverpool is the city of the Beatles and Animal Collective's music doesn't reach out to give you a big hug. "They're quite good," a boy in a beanie hat said to me at the bar. "But it's not as good as Jim Morrison or Joe Strummer."
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