Actually, I'm not saying that Girls Aloud should cover the following songs. But they could. If Xenomania wanted a day off, or Jo Whiley summoned them to the Live Lounge (again).
Tuneage (This Is Not A) Love Song by Public Image Ltd
That's a brilliant idea This song is a parping, rousing post-punk foot-stomper. It's based on a contradiction, similar to Sexy! No No No... John Lydon repeatedly snarls 'this is not a love song', but there's something about the way he sings it that makes me think it is.
Then again, maybe not Do Girls Aloud really want to be tackling free enterprise through a pop song? Also, French dance music supremo David Guetta recorded a dark, synth-led version in 2007. (Did you know the French verb 'guetter' means 'to watch for'?)
Lead vocalist Sarah. She could take on John Lydon. Easily.
Tuneage The Facts of Life by Black Box Recorder
That's a brilliant idea Girls Aloud are somehow quintessentially British. And so are Black Box Recorder, who write songs about cups of tea, motorway service stations and queueing for the bus in the rain.
Then again, maybe not It's not much of a song, is it? More of a spoken lament for missed adolescent opportunities.
Lead vocalist Kimberly. She's the slightly prim one. And don't pretend to me that you wouldn't want to hear her cooing 'experimentation, familiarisation... it's all a nature walk'.
Tuneage No More I Love You's by Annie Lennox
That's a brilliant idea Girls Aloud have underachieved with slow numbers. This one isn't quite a ballad, but it has a very lovely chorus.
Then again, maybe not It's a little bit too kooky. Remember the male backing dancers dressed in as ballerinas? And the vocals jump around a lot. Even more than Annie's eyebrows in the video.
Lead vocalist Nicola. She's my favourite. She's kind of glacial.
Tuneage Unchained Melody by Everybody
That's a brilliant idea Everybody else has done this. Robson and Jerome, Gareth Gates, everybody. Girls Aloud might as well make their contribution to the most covered song of the 20th Century.
Then again, maybe not What was once a poignant song is now just a hackneyed, karaoke staple.
Lead vocalist Cheryl. The nation's sweetheart can do her dewy-eyed, wobbly jelly chin thing and we'll all blub in a sad (yet joyous) way with quiet obedience.
Tuneage I Know What Boys Like by the Waitresses
That's a brilliant idea Sassy post-punk pop about attracting male attention, but waving it away. With a massive saxophone solo.
Then again, maybe not Shouty bubblegum poppettes Shampoo released a version in the mid-90s. It reached number 42. But who cares about chart positions? It was a more than respectable effort.
Lead vocalist They can all have a go. Especially the 'boys like, boys like, boys like [hand clap] me'.
Tuneage Maybe by the Chantels (also the Shangri-Las, and Janis Joplin)
That's a brilliant idea Yes, it is a rather brilliant idea. Girls Aloud acknowledged their debt to 1960s girl groups in the video for The Promise. And didn't they look lovely in those sparkly dresses? Maybe is almost a canonical song for 1960s girl groups. It's a beautiful, heart-breaker of a song about yearning for a lost love affair. Even in the opening lyric it manages to reach out and touch you ('maybe if I pray every night / you'll come back to me'). Which a lot of songs fail to do in three or four minutes.
Then again, maybe not Nope. I can't think of any reason why this couldn't work. It's just a really, really good song. It's practically transcendent.
Lead vocalist Nadine. She's got the biggest voice. Sorry, rest of Girls Aloud.
Tuneage (This Is Not A) Love Song by Public Image Ltd
That's a brilliant idea This song is a parping, rousing post-punk foot-stomper. It's based on a contradiction, similar to Sexy! No No No... John Lydon repeatedly snarls 'this is not a love song', but there's something about the way he sings it that makes me think it is.
Then again, maybe not Do Girls Aloud really want to be tackling free enterprise through a pop song? Also, French dance music supremo David Guetta recorded a dark, synth-led version in 2007. (Did you know the French verb 'guetter' means 'to watch for'?)
Lead vocalist Sarah. She could take on John Lydon. Easily.
Tuneage The Facts of Life by Black Box Recorder
That's a brilliant idea Girls Aloud are somehow quintessentially British. And so are Black Box Recorder, who write songs about cups of tea, motorway service stations and queueing for the bus in the rain.
Then again, maybe not It's not much of a song, is it? More of a spoken lament for missed adolescent opportunities.
Lead vocalist Kimberly. She's the slightly prim one. And don't pretend to me that you wouldn't want to hear her cooing 'experimentation, familiarisation... it's all a nature walk'.
Tuneage No More I Love You's by Annie Lennox
That's a brilliant idea Girls Aloud have underachieved with slow numbers. This one isn't quite a ballad, but it has a very lovely chorus.
Then again, maybe not It's a little bit too kooky. Remember the male backing dancers dressed in as ballerinas? And the vocals jump around a lot. Even more than Annie's eyebrows in the video.
Lead vocalist Nicola. She's my favourite. She's kind of glacial.
Tuneage Unchained Melody by Everybody
That's a brilliant idea Everybody else has done this. Robson and Jerome, Gareth Gates, everybody. Girls Aloud might as well make their contribution to the most covered song of the 20th Century.
Then again, maybe not What was once a poignant song is now just a hackneyed, karaoke staple.
Lead vocalist Cheryl. The nation's sweetheart can do her dewy-eyed, wobbly jelly chin thing and we'll all blub in a sad (yet joyous) way with quiet obedience.
Tuneage I Know What Boys Like by the Waitresses
That's a brilliant idea Sassy post-punk pop about attracting male attention, but waving it away. With a massive saxophone solo.
Then again, maybe not Shouty bubblegum poppettes Shampoo released a version in the mid-90s. It reached number 42. But who cares about chart positions? It was a more than respectable effort.
Lead vocalist They can all have a go. Especially the 'boys like, boys like, boys like [hand clap] me'.
Tuneage Maybe by the Chantels (also the Shangri-Las, and Janis Joplin)
That's a brilliant idea Yes, it is a rather brilliant idea. Girls Aloud acknowledged their debt to 1960s girl groups in the video for The Promise. And didn't they look lovely in those sparkly dresses? Maybe is almost a canonical song for 1960s girl groups. It's a beautiful, heart-breaker of a song about yearning for a lost love affair. Even in the opening lyric it manages to reach out and touch you ('maybe if I pray every night / you'll come back to me'). Which a lot of songs fail to do in three or four minutes.
Then again, maybe not Nope. I can't think of any reason why this couldn't work. It's just a really, really good song. It's practically transcendent.
Lead vocalist Nadine. She's got the biggest voice. Sorry, rest of Girls Aloud.
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