Wednesday 14 May 2008

Erroneous apostrophes


Somebody decided that Liverpool needs a music conference. And so, 27-30 May will be the inaugural Liverpool SoundCity! It is a music conference so exciting that it comes with an exclamation mark attached. 'Music conference' basically means a load of gigs over four days, with industry bods giving a few talks. Well, it gives Midge Ure a job.
Festival director David Pichilingi writes in the introduction that 'it is hoped that by being in the early part of the year SoundCity! can become as important in the UK as SXSW is in the States'. Well, maybe, given time and investment. But such a sloppy approach to spelling, grammar and punctuation in the festival (sorry, conference) guide is a poor start.
It's a nice design, courtesy of a Fact Magazine template. But asking bands to write their own blurb is asking for trouble. Some of the more ridiculously overblown statements, gleaned from the 'unsigned' section, are below. Somewhere, an underpaid and overworked editor is weeping.
-'This lot just write songs that soar forever and want you to stop what you are doing and change your life... forever'. (Man From Michael) Doesn't that sound a bit cultist?
- 'Like a well travelled suitcase, their music wears faded stickers which say Reggae, Dub, Punk Hip-hop and Rap alongside the more sober emblems of Blues, Western Surf and Rock.' (Daniel Orlick & The Diplomats) So you're like a battered suitcase? And music genres are not proper nouns.
- 'Each live performance serves as an exorcism, and with songs as rich as maple, you'd be wise to watch'. (The Pedantics) Unsettling, mixed exorcism/tree metaphor.
- 'Here is a band, with poise like no other, who simply aim to sing about what's right to them, whether good or bad. Whose tunes raise drowned heads'. (The Vagabonds) They resurrect the dead!
The lesson here is that bands should concentrate on music. And that editors should be given more than ten minutes and payment in Doritos to edit this bollocks.

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