Krazee-Eyez Killa

I love Timbaland. He's given the world so much pop perfection (Nelly Furtado's Loose and Justin Timberlake's Future Sex/Love Sounds). But all his gurning is descending into self-parody. The evidence is Flo Rida's Elevator, co-written and co-produced by Timbaland. But that's not enough for our Timbo. Oh no. He has to pop up in the video and contort his face. Start screen grabbing!

In conclusion: Elevator is an OK song, based on an odd penis-as-elevator metaphor (because, er, they both go up). Timbaland needs to chill out with a smoothie. He's produced about 552 albums this year (so far). You can't do everything, Timbaland! Take a break, or you'll find your agreeing to produce an album for the first Big Brother reject, so deluded by your own hype that you actually believe your knob-twiddling and vocal percussion can make a global superstar out of an aspiring glamour model from Wakefield.

(Weird formatting, I know, but I don't have time for too much image fiddling).