On TV you can watch brilliant things like bands and musicians performing. And you can watch bands being interviewed: not so brilliant, because bands don't always say interesting things. But all of this is apparently no longer enough, thanks to The Nokia Green Room.
In 4 Music's version of Top of the Pops, bands are forced to perform off as well as on stage. Tonight, I watched the repeat on The Hits because there's no reception for Channel 4 in my flat. I know! Weird. Anyway, Scooter, Gabriella Cilmi (is a popstar who requires a pronunciation guide really a good idea?), Young Knives and Feeder gathered in a gadget-filled backstage area which resembled a Big Brother house more than any green room I've ever seen. They had some awkward conversation (prompted by a file of questions), like the beginnings of a house party where nobody knows anybody else.
They periodically disappeared to perform. But you can't just relax and enjoy the music, as it cuts to backstage footage of the holding pen where the other bands mumble things like 'yeah, they're really good...' As if you need confirmation from a pop star that the music you're watching is cool. Pop stars who are forced into japing around like performing chimps.
Is this all because music itself has no inherent value, and needs to be dressed up like a reality TV show in order to commodify it and therefore sell more mobile phones?
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