I'm in the quicksand

Yoo hoo! I've been away in Sheffield for a few days, having a little holiday. I wanted to tell you about it at the time, but my laptop didn't like the Wi-Fi in Sheffield. On Thursday night, I went to Fuzz Club, which is a band-and-indie-disco night in the students' union. It is probably the best student indie night in the UK because they consistently book in ace bands and a pint of Snakebite is £1.60. I went for Snakebite and lime. You'd probably go for Snakebite and black[currant], but I have a more sophisticated palate.
La Roux played a few songs. Just in case you don't believe I was there, here is a picture:

As you can see, she was wearing a lovely striped t-shirt and blazer. But her shoes were even more lovely. And no, her right leg is not a ghost.

Her backing synth player was wearing some very white trainers. Very white indeed. Is that a London thing? It doesn't look right in Sheffield. You're not going to last the length of Devonshire Street in the rain.

The man in front of me was wearing a colourful trilby. He took a lot of photos of La Roux on his phone. I think he was a bit in love with her.

La Roux was fairly good, considering it was her third gig. A bit shaky, but fairly good. She started with In For The Kill (new single) and ended with Quicksand (old single), with a few near-identical songs betwixt. Ultimately, it was just a lady singing over a backing track. She joked that she'd never been north of London. Well, I hope it was a joke.
The merchandise stall gave me a rather nice strip of film, reminding me to buy the new single.

After La Roux's skit, it was time to dance the night away to the Strokes, the Knife and the Smiths.

I talked to a boy wearing fairy wings. He told me he was raising money for charity and had to wear something pink. Oh really, I said, what charity? He couldn't remember.

A good night out, and I saw La Roux for £2. I know, £2! These students don't know they're born.

Bored of the Lily Allen album already

Lily Allen's second album - It's Not Me, It's You - is not unleashed on the record buying public until 9 February. If you're in North America, you'll have to wait until 10 February. The Observer Music Monthly proclaimed the album the best new release for February, awarding it five stars out of five. This means that in OMM terms it is at least 20% better than Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion (or 'the new Animal Collective album', if you prefer).
But I'm already tired of it. Why? I'll tell you why...

1) Lily Allen is the proof that we don't live in a meritocracy. Not that Keith Allen barged into EMI and demanded a record contract for his daughter. But she didn't get to be a pop star/TV presenter/fashion designer based solely on her talents.

2) Lily's first album Alright, Still relied heavily on samples. And I mean heavily. Alfie borrowed so much from Sandie Shaw's Puppet On A String that even the video features a puppet. Sampling is not committing creative fraud, but who can still pretend that Lily is a musical genius for singing over Jackie Mittoo? Or pretend that she's a voice-of-a-generation lyrical genius? [Insert obligatory snark about rhyming al fresco with Tesco.]

3) Even if I don't want to listen to it, I'm going to pick it up by osmosis. Whenever I innocently switch on the radio/switch on the TV/walk into a shop/walk into a bar, Lily Allen's album will be there. Going into my ears without my written permission.

4) Some people (like Miranda Sawyer) praise Lily Allen for being outspoken and opinionated. I know plenty of people who will loudly tell you what they're thinking. They are not outspoken or opinionated; they are obnoxious. They are the sort of people you don't want to sit next to in the pub. The ones who claim to have lost their money and demand you lend them a tenner.

5) I've spent enough time thinking about Lily Allen now, so that's it.

Life has surface noise

Recently, it was my birthday and a tasty selection of LPs came into my life:

I love David Bowie (up to Let's Dance) and have most of his albums on CD or MP3 (not including anything post-Let's Dance). As you can see, it's not just David Bowie: The RCA Years, but there's also some Gang of Four and Ramones in the mix. Whoever previously owned these must have loved them as they're in amazing condition, especially considering some of them are over 30 years old. At first I thought they were recent reprints, but I checked the labels.
I love vinyl. I'm kooky like that. I love the ritual of searching through my record collection. I love slotting the stylus into the correct groove. But why am I clinging onto this niche format? It's a bit inconvenient, trying to delicately slide a 12 inch back into its sleeve without scratching it. They take up lots of space, and seem to attract dust magnetically. Also, I'm not convinced the sound quality is any warmer than digital music.
Perhaps it's nostalgia. My dad has a large collection of classical music on vinyl. Most of it is old Deutsche Grammophon recordings from charity shops. Perhaps I like making things a little bit harder for myself (not that placing a record onto a turntable is all that hard, but still a bit more tricksy than pressing a button on an iPod). Some music deserves a bit more effort.
I wouldn't want all my music on vinyl. But for David Bowie albums, definitely. They were recorded for 12 inch LPs, and that's where they belong. It'll be years and years before vinyl is obsolete, but as long as it's affordable I'll keep on collecting. So I'll just have to put up with dusting them every week.

Orange unsignedAct update

Once upon a time (well, December), I predicted that Scarlet Harlots would win Channel 4's elaborate battle of the bands show, Orange unsignedAct. Today, I was proven wrong as acoustic guitar-strummer Tommy Reilly won. Scarlet Harlots were in the final three, so I gave myself a pat on the back for my incredible ability to (almost) predict the future.
Tommy Reilly seems like a nice Scottish boy who can sing quite well and strum his acoustic guitar quite well. He now has a record deal with Universal, which promises a £60,000 advance and 'multi media marketing campaign' (e.g they'll get some street teamers to spam music forums with messages like 'OMG the new Tommy Reilly single is really good!'). But the leap from being an unsigned band/artist to a signed one is
His single is out now, titled Gimme A Call. You can buy over here. It reminds me of David Gray, with less of the wobbly head. The lyrical hook is 'give me a call, you've got a phone don't you?' Which leads me to the real winners of this televisual fandango: Orange. Their brand has been splashed all over the show. And now the winning single props up the idea of the necessity of owning a mobile phone (presumably one on the Orange network). Further, it's necessary to own a mobile phone so you can vote in televised battle of the bands competitions.

Shiny shorts

Many people arrive on this site by typing words like 'shiny shorts' into search engines. Many, many people. See? I know what you're up to.
Well, the public gets what the public wants. I noticed another music video that includes shiny shorts. This time, there are shiny boob tubes too. Bonus! Voilá , it's Divine by Sebastien Tellier.

I previously noted that lamé clothes add some jazzmatazz to otherwise dull songs. But Divine is a song so amazing that it doesn't need the American Apparel effect. Sebastien hasn't even noticed there are two funereal ladies behind him in top hats and Bacofoil.

If I Had A Heart

Fever Ray is the new musical project of Karin from the Knife. She has a startling new single out, called If I Had A Heart. It's a nastier cousin of Portishead's Machine Gun, except instead of being led by beats it's led by an oscillating hum. It is not a song you would want to be alone with on a dark night. Very few pieces of music manage to sound unsettling, but If I Had A Heart is one of them. I like it - very much so.
But what's the video all about? I wish I could tell you. We'll need to take a closer look. Again, it's genuinely disquieting. I'm warning you. I can't be there to hold your hand, so if you might be creeped out you'll have to look away.

We open with some urchins in a canoe, drifting on a misty lake. Don't worry, they are being supervised by an adult at the back. However, they don't look too cheerful. I suspect there will not be a happily ever after ending.

On the shore are some peoploids in masks that resemble owls. With an alsatian. They're searching for something. Ominously.

Suddenly, we see a country house. It appears there has been a mass suicide in the drained swimming pool. I told you this wasn't pleasant, so don't start complaining.

Inside, the decor is opulent but there are more bodies. They're just sleeping, right?

Ah, there's Karin. Well, I'm assuming it's Karin. It's her music video, after all. Is she responsible for the horrors we have seen so far? Possibly. She looks rather demonic, and is clasping a white rodent to her chest. It could be a ferret, a rabbit or a guinea pig. It might not be a rodent at all, but a white dove. Actually, it could be a white tea towel for all I can see.

Now the masked peoploids are in the house. On closer inspection, they look more like fish. Whatever they are, I do not like them.

We end with the canoe disappearing over the horizon of a bleak sea. Now I feel very insignificant and powerless, as if I too am adrift on an uncaring ocean. Wait - is that the whole point of the video? It's all quite upsetting because it makes me think about the futility of it all, and wonder whether masked strangers are peeping at me from the bushes. Even the idea of the hook ('if I had a heart I could love you') is horrible... the idea of being simultaneously alive and not alive, and entirely emotionally detached. I'm scared. Could you hold my hand, please?
It was directed by a chap called Andreas Nilsson. Just look at how many cool videos he has made. I wish he was my friend.

Mind-boggling pop music coincidences (part 1)

There once was a young girl called Amy Studt. She wanted to be a pop star. And she was. For three moderately successful singles in 2003/2004. The whole British Avril Lavigne idea didn't really work out. But Amy wants a second bite of the pop star cherry, and is making a "comeback" with a new single called Nice Boys. The video is over here. I gave it a look and her voice reminded me a tiny bit of Amanda Palmer (from the Dresden Dolls). Amy also looks like Amanda Palmer. If Amanda was from Bournemouth and shopped at Claire's Accessories.
I had a look at the video for Amy Studt's 2003 hit single (number 6 on the UK charts single), Misfit. In it, she performs at the end of term school concert in front of big spangly letters spelling out AMY.

And below is the video for Amanda Palmer's 2008 single, Leeds United. In it, she performs at a burlesque cabaret club in front of big spangly letters spelling out AMANDA.

Coincidence? I don't think so. There are only two logical explanations here.
1) Amanda Palmer was not only aware of Amy Studt but also influenced by her.
2) The Amy Studt of 2003 travelled into 2008, looked at the video for Leeds United on Pitchfork, thought it was cool, travelled back to 2003, pitched the idea of making a video in which she performs in front of big spangly letters spelling out her name to her record label, made a video in which she performs in front of big spangly letters spelling out her name...

Trendspotting: Fairisle hats

This winter, you may have noticed there's a lot of people wearing knitted hats. The ones with ear flaps and tassles. You know what I mean, although I can't decide on a name for them. Knitted deerstalker? Fairisle bobble hat with the bobble? Head cosy-ing device? Anyway. I'm wearing one right now. (Edit - No, I'm not.) Hadley Freeman tackles this in today's G2. Hadley believes this trend is emanating from market stalls in Camden and that Amy Winehouse is implicated. Camden Town, yes. But Amy Winehouse? No. The culprit for this trend is actually Dappy from N-Dubz (him on the left). And maybe a little bit of Fonejacker.

You might not have noticed, but N-Dubz are very popular in the UK. Platinum-selling debut album popular. The UK grime/hip hop market is a niche, but a large niche. It's not a niche I know much about, so I'll be quiet. However, I did want half an hour of Channel U once. At my sister's house.

I wore one of these knitted hats throughout last winter, but back in those bleak days people would rudely point and laugh at such kooky headgear. Now we're in 2009 and everybody has caught up with me. They've realised it's practical and whimsical, especially if you follow Dappy's example and elevate the ear flaps. But now Topman is full of them. Fashion, eh?

My new favourite hat (ergo the hat trend for next winter) is pictured below. It's more of a hat/scarf combo. My parents bought it in Tallinn, probably on a market stall similar to one in Camden. It's like a knitted Dickensian nightcap featuring frisky stallions. If Dappy doesn't start wearing one of these by the end of February I will be very disappointed.

The Joy Division moratorium

I don't know if I like Joy Division anymore. Obviously, I realise they are not only one of the most important post-punk bands, but one of the most important bands. Ever. But there are too many bands out there who are trying to achieve the same doomy vocals, mechanised production and claustrophobic guitars. Step forward Interpol, Editors, White Lies, etc.

Ian Curtis was inspired by literature, art and philosophy including JG Ballard, William Burroughs... but so many bands sound like they're inspired only by Ian Curtis. It's an ever-decreasing spiral, and at the centre is one well-read yet troubled young man from Manchester.

I might have to set up a petition on the 10 Downing Street website to campaign for a Joy Division moratorium. I propose we take all our Love Will Tear Us Apart seven inches, Unknown Pleasures CDs and Joy Division ovengloves, then deposit then safely in a massive storage chamber beneath Macclesfield. Don't worry, it won't be forever: we'll just put them away for a year. When we get it all back our ears will be fresh and we'll fall in love all over again. And all those unsigned bands in provincial towns will be forced to redefine their references. Maybe there will be bands discovering German literature, New Wave cinema and, ultimately, fresh ways of musically expressing themselves. It's going to be a new Renaissance.

Joy Division are not the only band to blame for all the derivative acts out there. We might need an amnesty for The Smiths as well. And The Pixies. Basically, all the amazing zeitgeisty bands. It'll be difficult yet worth it, and I'll go first. You can just follow my example, I promise.

PS - I love the above Anton Corbijn photo of the band. It's an image I'm not embarrassed to call 'iconic'.

Spot + identify

I have recently discovered Spotify. And what a discovery. It's a music streaming service similar to Pandora. Unlike Pandora, it's available to Europeans like me. Also, you can organise songs into playlists like iTunes, and stream to your heart's content. The slickness and quickness of the technology (a painless download) is impressive, but I think it's Swedish. We all know that Sweden = nirvana. Those Swedes are so clever.
But what about the economics? Just how are people making cold hard cash off this? Let's not be shy about this. Everybody needs to pay the rent/mortgage. Maybe the idea is that streaming music will encourage MP3 and CD sales, or maybe the idea is advertising revenue. There's plenty of digital media advertising revenue to be had, but I'm not convinced there's an endless supply. What happens when the recession bites? So far, the ads on Spotify had been very discrete, although Moira Stewart did remind me to fill in my tax return (and I was all 'Moira, relax! I did that in October').
PS - I think Spotify is only available if you're in Europe (or your computer is in Europe, at least) and you need an invite. Email takeittothechorus@gmail.com if you want in. And you know you do want in.

BBC Sound of 2009

Last week, the BBC music website announced their top 10 acts for the UK in 2009. It's a good barometer of which new bands/artists will be big in the coming year, and who has good PR agents. Or the most friends on MySpace. If you're the sort of person who scours the internet for new bands, it all feels a bit redundant. But there are primitive people who only use the internet for Facebook, Bebo and the Radio 1 homepage.
I know that last week is about a million years ago in blogging terms, but why don't we all slow down? I needed some time to think it over. And now I have done, you can read what I think. Oh, lucky you!

1) Little Boots
Who on earth?
Leeds University graduate and Blackpool lass Victoria Hesketh, plus producer Joe Goddard (him from Hot Chip. No, not the singer, the other one).
The buzzwords
Cyber disco diva; pop sensibility; Tenori-on.
The buzzwords decoded
Similar production to Giorgio Moroder and a fearsome vocal; knows how to write a pop song; expensive Yamaha drum synths.
Likelihood of making it
Duh, she's already made it. She's finishing the album in LA which sell, sell, sell. And she is quite clearly an amazing pop star for our times.
Take It To The Chorus sez... yes please. I love Little Boots, and in doing so feel less guilty for describing Dead Disco as 'try-hard Long Blonde wannabes' who were 'forcing the sexy'.

2) White Lies
Who on earth?
Three young men from West London. They're probably wearing leather jackets right now. Or black shirts with skinny red ties.
The buzzwords
Brooding introspection; epic proportions; big indie hope.
The buzzwords decoded
Ian Curtis obsession; liberal use of reverb; suitable for early in the night at indie discos.
Likelihood of making it
Very high. If we understand 'making it' to mean a UK tour of medium-sized venues and one album.
Take It To The Chorus sez... too easily confused with Editors/the Bravery/Interpol.

3) Florence & the Machine
Who on earth?
Big voiced kooky lady from London. The Machine is metaphysical.
The buzzwords
A passionate force of nature; a kooky creative; beautiful.
The buzzwords decoded
She dances on stage, probably while barefoot; writes own songs, some of which are quite good; phwoar, wonder if she has a boyfriend?
Likelihood of making it Good, but I can't help feeling that Florence's fortunes are linked to fashion. So we'll wait and see what Topshop are stocking in the summer.
Take It To The Chorus sez... I don't want to be rude, but... this just doesn't do it for me. And it's at least 18 months since I first peeked at her MySpace, so I feel she's had her chance.

4) Empire of the Sun
Who on earth?
That fella from The Sleepy Jackson, and that other fella from Pnau. So the most hipster band in Australia.
The buzzwords
Search for inner enlightenment; softcore spaced-out beats; uplifting and colourful performances.
The buzzwords decoded
Had an idea in the pub but didn't think it through properly; not as good as Pnau or The Sleepy Jackson; once attended a Flaming Lips gig.
Likelihood of making it
Limited. They're just too wacky for the mainstream. And the album cover for 'Walking On A Dream' is really bad. Really, really bad. It looks like a Star Wars tribute album recorded on Moogs. Except George Lucas refused permission so they've changed all the melodies a little.
Take It To The Chorus sez... thanks, but I'm quite happy with MGMT.

5) La Roux
Who on earth?
Flame-haired singer Elly Jackson and producer Ben Langmaid. He's friends with Rollo from Faithless, don't you know.
The buzzwords
Crazy hair; eighties revival; 21st Century synth pop auteur.
The buzzwords decoded
Normal hair with some mousse; listened to all the Heaven 17 albums; owns a Micro Korg.
Likelihood of making it
Reasonably assured. In the video for Quicksand, La Roux is looking tres chic in a Henry Holland floral suit. Keep up - fashion designer Henry Holland. He's friends with supermodel Agyness Deyn, don't you know. Something tells me such stylings are a guarantee of some success. But it's also my problem... it all looks a bit too London-centric. Once you're north of the Watford Gap it starts to look a bit style-over-substance. Here in Liverpool, La Roux would make sense in Korova on a Friday night. But there are a lot of other nights (and days) in the week.
Take It To The Chorus sez... opinion to be confirmed.

Elsewhere, Passion Pit were in at number nine. Which sounds about right. They're definitely my favourite new discovery of 2008 and band I can't wait to hear more of/see live in 2009, but they're not for everyone. They're cerebral, see. You just don't get it.

For once, I agree with Kanye

Throughout December it felt like there would be no new music ever again, and we would have to make do with Alexandra Burke and Jeff Buckley. But now it's January and there's so many new songs, albums and bands hurtling themselves towards me that I don't know where to start. Actually, I do know. With the new Peter Bjorn & John offering, which first appeared ('dropped') on Kanye West's blog ('Kanye West's ghostwriter's blog). If you click the link you'll have to scroll down, then scroll down some more. Just keep scrolling, ok?

Seemingly titled Nothing To Worry About, it's a beat-led stomp that doesn't sound as optimistic as the hook suggests. With singing children. If you thought the Swedish trio flooked it on Young Folks, you now have to admit you were wrong. Peter Bjorn & John are officially serious indie band contenders. Yes, Writer's Block is a beautiful album, but how many bands have two beautiful albums in them? Not many.

You may notice from the picture that I've discovered the Brushes palette on Photoshop. So expect to see a lot more of colour burning and flowing stars on this blog. If you're a graphic designer, you might want to look away in embarrassment.

Five new bands for the weekend

Welcome to 2009 on Take It To The Chorus! It's the weekend, so here are some new bands. And when I say new, I mean new to me. So if you've heard it all before, just roll your eyes and move on.

1) Tommy Sparks He's a young man making poptacular tunes. There's a video for heart-throbbing single I'm A Rope, which features hypnotised fans and sequinned trainers. Mr Sparks will be supporting Bloc Party on tour in February, so we ('we' meaning the sort of people who go to Bloc Party gigs) can discover if he really is a pop star. Because he might be able to write and produce a fantastic tune, but can he perform?

2) Solid Gold Three men from Minneapolis. With keyboards. Making melancholy synthpop without the naval gazing. They are brilliant. Fact. Their debut album Bodies of Water is available here. They're unsigned, and could do with your cash monies.

3) The Research I lied to you before. The Research are not new to me, but I make the rules so I can disobey them. I sort of forgot about The Research after their debut album didn't sell by the shed full in 2006. Now I've remembered them and they are still making wonderfully sweet songs of love and loss. And still based in Wakefield. I hope Russell still has an impressive collection of jumpers.

4) David Goo Mr Goo and his Variety Band are responsible for the Balkan disco romp on the rightmove.co.uk advert. It makes me want to leap up with a glass of fire water and heartily declare 'na zdrove!' The rest of his oeuvre seems to be comedic yarns. I can't draw many conclusions from his website, but he's based in London and looks like the sort of man who'd be good to chat with in the pub.

5) Janelle Monae Imagine Andre 3000 with an android fetish. Single Many Moons is a sci-fi funk masterpiece that includes a chanted list of everything from bubonic plague to plastic sweat. Also, her artistic ambitions are big: Many Moons doesn't have a video but an 'official short film' in which Ms Monae stars as Cindi Mayweather, the Alpha Platinum 9000 android.